swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
