If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
