i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
