We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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