He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
