I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
