Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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