You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
