A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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