Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
