What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
