dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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