What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
