Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
