I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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