apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize