planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm too high and old for this...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
