It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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