We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize