what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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