I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
