I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
