But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
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