It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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