Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
