conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
