I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
