Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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