i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
