There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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