she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
