he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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