I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
