Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize