is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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