At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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