For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
