PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
