I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i black out too much to be "responsible"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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