spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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