i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
