OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
