we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
