Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
