He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
