Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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