i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
