Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
