Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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