Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
