Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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