Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
