Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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