I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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