Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize