I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
