the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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