I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
