Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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