Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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