She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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