yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
