If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
