he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
