he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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