should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize