I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize