i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
