the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
