Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
