Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
