a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
