The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
