you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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