What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
