Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
