When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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