tell your sister to shave her snatch
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
