so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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