please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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